Santaquin:6

Santaquin:6

            I couldn’t even sleep this morning after I woke up initially, I can hardly stand the anticipation of getting my call, it’s seriously going to drive me crazy!!  Every time I start to think about it I get butterflies in my stomach and I get all nervous!  I’ve decided that I don’t handle extreme excitement very well.  And only because my friend just got married, I have to wonder, does it feel like this when you get married too?  I’ve never felt this nervous before, but I’ve also never had this kind of life changing experience before.  I’m going to have to do some investigating with all my guy friends that have gone, and see how they felt about it all.  I was so anxious this morning that I wanted to call in sick, just so I could sit out by the mail box and wait for my call to come… that would have looked really silly I’m sure.  Then I also want to go home on my lunch break and see if it’s there, but what’s the point of that when the mail doesn’t even come until 3 or 4?  Ugh… this whole thing is going to be the end of me, I’ll really be a stronger person if I come of it all alive… I know I’m being over dramatic, but that is definitely how I feel right now!

            I think that I’ll just be happy when it’s all over with, but then again, I can only presume that it’s going to feel this exact same way when I get ready to go into the MTC, there’s a part of me that’s hoping I’ll be able to go to an MTC that’s in another country so I don’t have to be in Provo.  I’m thinking it would be easier to just make a clean break from the whole thing, Provo is just too close to home and I’m not sure if it would be easier or harder.  I mean… what happens when I run into someone that I know really well, especially if it’s one of my guys?  I can’t hug them or anything and that would be just plain torture… ugh!  There are so many things to think about when you’re getting to this point… I almost wish that I could go to bed and wake up after it’s all over, but then… where would the growth come in to play.  I mean, that’s a big reason that we do a lot of the stuff that we do, right?  Right.

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Santaquin:5

Santaquin:5 

            The stress in my life and house is definitely building!  And it all blew up last night in my living room after family prayer.  My dad got mad at me Saturday morning, because I really haven’t wanted to open my call in front of everyone, I really just want it to be w quiet thing, plus I’m just really nervous about the whole thing.  I figure that I could open it and have everyone come over to my house and then I could call them and let them all know where I’m going.   My dad told me that I needed to quit being selfish and invite the family over to see me open my call, and that it isn’t just a me thing, it’s a family thing. 

            My dad tends to say things that sound like ‘it’s my way or the highway’ even though he doesn’t necessarily mean it that way.  Even though I know this, when tension is high and stress is as well, you don’t really take the time to read between the lines and see what it is that he really means.  Then there is also the fact that my dad and I are a lot a like, and we tend to but heads every once in a while, not too often, but it does happen. 

            So I was going to just succumb to the whole thing, but I was saying something to my mom about how I really didn’t want to do the whole thing, and she said that I should just do what I want to do.  But dad must have said something, and so last night we were talking about it and we both just blew up.  My dad’s sick of hearing my whine, but mom doesn’t want to hear it anymore, so my dad said, Fine! Just do it how you want to do it, but of course that’s not what he wants, and he says it with the tone of,  ‘you can do what you want to do, but I’m not going to be happy about it’.

            So now here I am, mad at my dad and not sure what I should do.  One of my coworker suggest that I open it in my room and then play hangman and see if everyone can guess where I’m going.  I thought it would be fun to have everyone write down where they think I’m going to go and have a prize for the person that guess the closest.  I should have my call tomorrow or wed though, so I better decide what it is that I want to do soon, because I don’t think that I’m going to be able to handle another encounter with my parents!

Santaquin:4

Santaquin:4

Well – here is some very exciting news.  I have finally put in my papers! YEAH!! I’m very stoked about the whole thing!  I went in for my interview with the stake president on this last Wednesday.  It was a really awesome meeting, the spirit was very strong and I think that he  could tell that I wanted to go on a mission and my desire is strong.  He explained a little about the whole process should go, it’s definitely a lot different now that we can turn  it in over the internet now.   He sent it in to the church headquarters Wed night and so, now that we don’t have to mail it in, the church would get it Thursday morning.  Now they normally do the mission calls on Thursdays, but of course there is other information that needs to be sorted through and then its passed on to the missionary committee, which is formed out of the first presidency and the twelve apostle, which take turns making the missionary calls.  So – by Thursday of next week my call should be issued and I’ll be anticipating receiving my call but Thursday of the following week. 

            Here is a good benefit to being the daughter of the bishop, my dad can get onto the churches website and let me know when my call has been issued, so I can know for sure that its on it’s way!  I’m super excited and not really nervous just yet, I’ll be really nervous right before I open my call though.  That’s what my stake president told me, he said the worst time in the whole preparation for a mission is the two weeks between sending in your papers and waiting to get your call.  I don’t think it’s that bad just yet, but it has only been three days…we’ll see how my nerves are at the end of next week!

            For some reason, this whole thing seems to be a bit surreal, I know that I’m going on a mission, it’s something that I’ve wanted to do for over a year now, but I’m finally to that stage where I’m putting in my papers and getting everything done, and it doesn’t seem like I’ve done anything… is that just a little weird or what? I wonder if anyone else has ever felt like that.  I’m going to have to ask the boys if they were really nervous when they were putting in there papers.  Maybe I’m just really ready… that’s what I would like to think anyway.  I almost feel bad because I’m NOT anxious,  I feel like I should be more involved emotionally, but at the same time, it really has to be a blessing, because I think I just might pull my hair out if I were to be really emotionally involved.  Either way, I’m really excited and I know I’m doing the right thing!  I’m really looking forward to going to the temple with my family and friends and the temple trips that the boys and I are planning on before I leave.  This is going to be a great time in my life, to make all these great memories to take with me on my mission.  I’m gonna be missing out on a lot for those 18 months, but I’m going to have so many more blessings for it, right? Until next time,

 Cass

Santaquin:3

Santaquin:3

  

Well, here is an interesting twist to the whole thing.  My Stake president came to my ward this last Sunday (he’s my dad’s cousin).  I was up talking with my dad, making sure that he knew I had set up an appt with him the following Sunday.  My stake pres then started talking to me about filling out my paperwork, and told me that since I was so close, that I should just come into his office this Wed and finish it all up and send them in! Can you imagine my excitement! I could barely contain myself all day Sunday.  I’ve been wanting to turn in my papers for over a yr and now I can finally do it! YEAH!!

            I finished everything up today, I have my interview with my dad tonight, and then I’m meeting with my stake president tomorrow night and then my papers will be sent in!  I’m really hoping that I’ll have them back before general conference, but there really isn’t any saying.  I’m not sure if they do all the missionary stuff the week before general conference either, so, I’ll have to just wait and see.  I’m thinking that the waiting part is gonna kill me!  I’m super excited though, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much anticipation before! I’m also really surprised by the whole thing, I didn’t think that I was going to be able to submit my papers until the 30^th of this month, but now I’m going to be able to submit them a week and a half earlier than the original date!  It surprised me how excited I was, I didn’t think that I was going to be as excited as I am, but I guess that just goes to show that it’s the right thing to do!  Until Next Time,

 Cass

Santaquin:2

Santaquin:2

            I moved home in May of 2007 to start saving money… which for me, is not the easiest thing in the world.  I’m terrible at it – flat out.  I guess, it’s just not my thing, which is definitely something that I need to get better at.  Otherwise the rest of my life is going to be much more difficult than it needs to be.  However, my friend Jon wrote this really cool budget on excel… so I just need to learn to apply that, then I won’t have any problems…right?

            Anyway… I moved home.  The idea was to save some money, which I have kind of been doing, but then some stuff happened with my car… and I’m making about 200.00 less each paycheck than I was at my previous job.  All in all though, I love being home! I get to be around my friends that I care and love and my family.  It’s nice to be back to the neighborhood that I grew up in.  I like living in a small town, it’s a place that I know my neighbors and have all my friends.  It’s a great place!

            So, my dad is my bishop, which is both a good and a bad thing and then on top of all that, his cousin is the stake president (maybe living in a small town has it’s down side as well).  Now – It’s good to have my dad as my bishop, because he wants me to go on a mission as much as I want me to go. However, there is one problem, there are times when I’m treated more has his daughter than a member of the ward.  However, I have told my dad about this, and think that we are ok.  He understands how I feel, and I’m still trying to understand how he thinks about the whole thing.

            My dad was good enough to get me a log in to the lds.org site, they have recently started being able to fill out all the missionary papers online, I love this! It is very convenient and makes getting your call back that much faster!  He got me the log in so I was finally able to start getting ready for my mission!

            When you finally get to this point, it’s really weird, I’ve had a lot of emotions running around inside my brain.  Before I started filling out all my papers I was really nervous, there’s a lot to think about when that’s all you have to do!  You start thinking about all the responsibility, where you could possibly go, what could happen, if you’re going to get a long with your companions, are you worthy, is it worth it?  The fact that you’re leaving all that you’ve known your whole life, the things that you love and knowing that a lot of the stuff you love will be changed when you get home.  You’re going to miss out on a lot of stuff as well.  My sister is married, she has been for 2 years, she waiting to have kids, but she could very well have one by the time I get home, I’ll miss her graduation from law school, my little brother’s first date a Christmas and some birthdays.  So – there are a lot of things that you just think about all the time when you have nothing else to do.  However, now that I’m actually to the point where I’ve started filling out my papers most of my fears have started to calm down and I’m mostly caught up in the excitement.  There are a lot of things to be excited about!  Just thinking about the places that I’m gonna go, the people that I’m going to meet, and of course, I’m sure that every missionary thinks this, but you just know that you’re going to go out there and change the world, right?

            I’m very excited to be going on a mission, I know it’s going to be hard, there are few things in life that are really easy, but I do know that it’s going to be worth it, if I only find one person, it will all have been worth it! I’m sure that the fears will come back, waiting for my call, right before I open my call, the night that I go into the MTC, these, I’m sure will be times that I’m unsure as to what to think, I’ll be slightly sad but I’m sure that it will also be very exciting!

            I’ve since filled out the majority of my papers, the only thing that I have left for the rest of them is filling out the dental part, but my dentist told me that all I have to do is take the paper into them and he will fill it out, so not much left there.  At the current moment I’m VERY excited and I know that it’s going to be worth it! I’m really looking forward to getting my call and going to the temple! This is great!

Cass

My Story Thus Far…

Santaquin:1

 

Once upon a time, in the beginning … I decided to go on a mission. One of my great coworkers gave me the idea of putting my thoughts and feeling and activities on here, in the hopes that I will someday be able to print it out and give it to my children. I think that some of the people that I work with here in the office are thinking that it will be fun too, because they’ll be able to catch up on everything that I’ll be doing while I’m on my mission.  A lot of the people here I’ve gotten attached to, and I’m gonna miss them, but I know that this is going to be a great adventure and I’m really looking forward to it.

 There were a few things that got me to this conclusion that I wanted to go on a mission.  First was my patriarchal blessing, it says a few things in there that always made me wonder, next were the two trips to Mexico.  I fell in love with the people down there, it was fantastic, we were able to serve and laugh together.  I very much came to love the people and I want to say that I loved the service, but that would make me sound a little self righteous, so suffice it to say that when you love the people, you don’t mind the service.

            I was ready to go on a mission about a year before the appropriate age.  I begged and pleaded with my stake president to let me go early, albeit to no avail.  I had to wait for the appointed age, just like all the other sister missionaries that have gone out in the field. I’m glad that my desire didn’t change, I’ve kept that the whole time that I’ve been getting ready, thank goodness for that.

            So… here I am, getting ready to go on a mission… I’m going to leave all that I’ve known for my whole life and go somewhere completely different and live an entirely different lifestyle than the one that I’ve known my entire life.  And do you want to know the funniest thing about all of this? I actually WANT to do it, and I’m actually going to pay for a good portion of it! Whew…. I sure wish I knew what I was getting into…

Until next time

Cass