Thing I’m Grateful For

 At the request of Marla Jane I’ve listed a few things I’m grateful for… 

 

 

Things I’m Grateful For

                       

                        ~ The color of the clouds when the sun rises and sets

                        ~ The sound of a child’s laugh, nothing seems to boost my spirit more

                        ~ The struggles of a mother to raise her 5 children (my mom is amazing)

                        ~ For friends that care about me and let me know

                        ~ For the ability to be loved, feel love and love others

~ For those quiet moments laying downstairs on Curtis’ bed, just talking about things… (this is probably how I fell in love with him)

~ Hot chocolate

~ Bubble Baths

~ Sunday evenings with my mom playing the piano and my sister with her violin and me singing

~ Snowflakes

~ Walks around the golf course at night, just to see the stars and talk about life

~ The wisdom of those around me

~This list could go on and on, but I’ll just stop here… I’m just grateful for the opportunity to live!

Santaquin:10

Santaquin:10

            I’m not exactly sure as to how I feel right bow about everything… I’m really excited to be leaving on my mission, I’m very much ready to go, but at the same time I’ve got all sorts of emotions running through me. 

            My mom has gotten to the point where she wants me to spend all of my time with the family, and as great as that sounds, it not something that I want to do right now.  Now I’m not saying that I don’t want to spend any time with my family, but I don’t want to spend all my time at the house.  When it all boils down to it, I want to spend most of my time with Curtis… but that’s besides the point.  I know my mom is starting to freak out, as am I, because we are all starting to realize that I’m leaving soon… I’m not going to be home for Christmas or my birthday and I’m leaving in two weeks. 

            I was at Curtis’ house on Friday, and we were talking about the few weeks before you get ready to leave and as I was sitting there staring up at the ceiling with my head on Curtis’ chest, I just wanted to cry… and I have absolutely no reason why.  I’m not sad that I’m leaving to go on a mission, I’m rather excited about the whole thing.  I’m not afraid to leave home, I’ve already lived on my own for over a year and a half.  I couldn’t explain it at all.  I’m not even the type that really cries.  Then as I was sitting in my kitchen talking to my mom the other day, I had the same kind of phenomenon.  I’m guessing that it’s just that I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed with everything that’s going on, but at the same time, I’m sure having a hard time figuring out what it is that I’m feeling, and I’ve sure never been in this kind of a situation before!

            When Curtis and I were talking about it all, he told me, it’s kinda like the last hour you have right before you go to work, when you’re just trying to do something to fill the time.  It’s a lot like that, but at the same time, it’s hard because the rest of you life doesn’t start until after your mission, so I spend a lot of time thinking about the rest of my life, because I have no idea on what to expect for the next 18 months!!

         Despite all that is going on, I’m beyond excited for everything!  I’m so excited to be able to learn Spanish and teach the people of Chile!  It’s going to be an amazing experience and I’ll be all the better for doing it!  I’m getting closer and closer as each minute ticks by! 

Cancer

I’ve never known anyone that has cancer.  I’ve met people that have had cancer in the past and are already done with their battle.  On the 16th of November, that all changed…

My best friend Curtis, who was on a mission in Minnesota, got diagnosed with cancer in his tongue (weird I know).  I had spent the day in Salt Lake with some of my old friends to have some fun before I leave the country for a while.  Dave and I had gone to the temple and I had accidently left my cell phone at his house.  I was gone for about 5 hours and when we got back to Dave’s house I went to go grab my phone, just as I was reaching for my  phone, it rang.  It was my good friend Janie.  I answered the phone all happy and having a good time, but she sounded really quiet… that’s when you know something is wrong…

She asked if I had spoken with anyone, I told her I hadn’t because I had left my phone.  She then told me something that could have potentially brought my world as I know it to an end.  My best friend in the entire world had cancer… you hear that word a lot in everyday life, but do we all really know what it means? That’s all I could think about, cancer… well… what does that mean? 

I quickly hung up with her and called Laura, Curtis’ mom, to see what was going on.  The line was busy, so I called Jon, who didn’t answer, so I called Jake, who had just gotten in a car accident… Then Jon called me back so he told me what had happened with the whole thing.  I called Laura and finally got through, she told me the majority of the story…

He had a sore on the left side of is tongue that was bothering him, so he went in to get it checked, they took a biopsy and WHAM!  It tested positive for cancer, they sent him home the next day. 

 I just have to say that it is fantastic to have my best friend home! These are not the circumstances that I would have wanted him home under, but he’s in high hopes and doing well, and I’ll keep you updated!

Santaquin:9

Well – here I am… I go into the MTC three weeks from today, whew!  I’m super excited about the whole thing!  I’ve gotten over the inital fear, I think.  That is until I get into the MTC, of course, I’m sure that I don’t know for sure what I’ve gotten myself into. I’ve got some sort of an idea about the whole thing, but I’m not sure I don’t know a lot, this knowledge is bound to grow in the next few months.

I had a good friend of mine give a fanatastic talk in church on Sunday, he just got home from Italy.  He’s talk was absolutely amazing! It really made my worries about the whole thing fade. It was a heartfelt talk about his love for the people of Italy.  He didn’t necessarily always understand everything that was being said, but he knew that they were all children of God and that they still had something in common. It was really neat to see how much he had changed and how much he truly loved the people, it just goes to show that you can feel a kinship with someone that you may not even know. 

Needless to say, I’m happy about the whole thing, and I’m ready to go!  3 weeks and counting!

Single White Female

I reached that point in life where there is nothing to do.  All my girlfriends are married (or unofficially engaged) and all my guy friends have girlfriends or are on missions, minus 1 ½ (I say ½ because he gets home from his mission on tomorrow, the 2^nd).  So – my life as a single 20 yr old white female has now led to sewing skirts for my mission in my basement… isn’t that sad?  I’ve turned into something like an old spinster woman, at 20, I wonder what I’ll be like when I’m 50…?  Hopefully a mom that has learned how to sew clothes for her children!

Today on my lunch I went to the fabric store to find some material for another skirt, and then I found a really cute pattern for a jumper… so when I go home tonight I’m going to try sewing this pattern and see if it turns out, I’m excited for it however!

One of my good friends, Janie, had a lady from work give her a really nice sewing machine, so Janie has let me borrow her old one (which is really nice) until I leave on my mission! She’s awesome and I’m so glad to have her as such a good friend!

Sew – here we go, and hopefully it’ll turn out!

  Siempre y para Siempre

Santaquin:8

Santaquin:8

I’m going to the temple today, I’m really excited and a little scared all at the same time, but I know it will be awesome!  I was initially a little disappointed when my friend Jon told me that he couldn’t come I was really planning on him being there, but he canceled on me.  But I think it will be ok, cuz my family will all be there and I’m really looking forward to that!

As I’m sitting here thinking about the whole thing, I’m feeling a little bad that I got so upset with Jon, I’m really thinking that I need to apologize for acting like such a jerk.  Does anyone else ever think that, after the heat of the moment?  And it’s not that I was yelling at him, or fighting with him, I was mostly just thinking bad thoughts and secretly wanting to strangle him… I sure hope that doesn’t make me evil. 

Anyway, so – I’m going to the Provo temple tonight.  All my aunts, uncles and cousins that are worthy to go are going to be there, I don’t think that I can even imagine how neat that it’s going to be.  Then me and the boys have a temple trip planned to Manti after Cliff gets home in Nov.  So, ready or not, here it all comes!

Santaquin:7

Santaquin:7

 Hallelujah !!! My call has finally come!!! Whew!  I’m So excited to finally know where I’m going!  This is fantastic!!  I have been called to serve in the Chile Osorno Mission, I get to learn Spanish!!! This fantastic!  I get to learn Spanish and everything!  I will be going into the MTC on December 19^th, and my guess is that I will be there for 6-8 weeks while I struggle to learn Spanish and then will be sent to the southern tip of South America.  I figured that this would be a warm mission, but it doesn’t sound like it’s going to be… in my letter I was told to bring thermal underwear and snow boots!  But my mission also stretches about 1,000 miles, so I’m thinking that the southern tip is going to be cold, but the northern is going to be warmer.  Guess we’ll just have to wait and see! But I’m super excited and the funniest thing about it all, is that just last week I was telling one of my friends and her mom that I had a feeling that I was going to go to Chile!  How crazy is that?  I know this is where I’m supposed to go though, and nothing is going to stop me!  YEAH!!!

 

Santaquin:6

Santaquin:6

            I couldn’t even sleep this morning after I woke up initially, I can hardly stand the anticipation of getting my call, it’s seriously going to drive me crazy!!  Every time I start to think about it I get butterflies in my stomach and I get all nervous!  I’ve decided that I don’t handle extreme excitement very well.  And only because my friend just got married, I have to wonder, does it feel like this when you get married too?  I’ve never felt this nervous before, but I’ve also never had this kind of life changing experience before.  I’m going to have to do some investigating with all my guy friends that have gone, and see how they felt about it all.  I was so anxious this morning that I wanted to call in sick, just so I could sit out by the mail box and wait for my call to come… that would have looked really silly I’m sure.  Then I also want to go home on my lunch break and see if it’s there, but what’s the point of that when the mail doesn’t even come until 3 or 4?  Ugh… this whole thing is going to be the end of me, I’ll really be a stronger person if I come of it all alive… I know I’m being over dramatic, but that is definitely how I feel right now!

            I think that I’ll just be happy when it’s all over with, but then again, I can only presume that it’s going to feel this exact same way when I get ready to go into the MTC, there’s a part of me that’s hoping I’ll be able to go to an MTC that’s in another country so I don’t have to be in Provo.  I’m thinking it would be easier to just make a clean break from the whole thing, Provo is just too close to home and I’m not sure if it would be easier or harder.  I mean… what happens when I run into someone that I know really well, especially if it’s one of my guys?  I can’t hug them or anything and that would be just plain torture… ugh!  There are so many things to think about when you’re getting to this point… I almost wish that I could go to bed and wake up after it’s all over, but then… where would the growth come in to play.  I mean, that’s a big reason that we do a lot of the stuff that we do, right?  Right.

Santaquin:5

Santaquin:5 

            The stress in my life and house is definitely building!  And it all blew up last night in my living room after family prayer.  My dad got mad at me Saturday morning, because I really haven’t wanted to open my call in front of everyone, I really just want it to be w quiet thing, plus I’m just really nervous about the whole thing.  I figure that I could open it and have everyone come over to my house and then I could call them and let them all know where I’m going.   My dad told me that I needed to quit being selfish and invite the family over to see me open my call, and that it isn’t just a me thing, it’s a family thing. 

            My dad tends to say things that sound like ‘it’s my way or the highway’ even though he doesn’t necessarily mean it that way.  Even though I know this, when tension is high and stress is as well, you don’t really take the time to read between the lines and see what it is that he really means.  Then there is also the fact that my dad and I are a lot a like, and we tend to but heads every once in a while, not too often, but it does happen. 

            So I was going to just succumb to the whole thing, but I was saying something to my mom about how I really didn’t want to do the whole thing, and she said that I should just do what I want to do.  But dad must have said something, and so last night we were talking about it and we both just blew up.  My dad’s sick of hearing my whine, but mom doesn’t want to hear it anymore, so my dad said, Fine! Just do it how you want to do it, but of course that’s not what he wants, and he says it with the tone of,  ‘you can do what you want to do, but I’m not going to be happy about it’.

            So now here I am, mad at my dad and not sure what I should do.  One of my coworker suggest that I open it in my room and then play hangman and see if everyone can guess where I’m going.  I thought it would be fun to have everyone write down where they think I’m going to go and have a prize for the person that guess the closest.  I should have my call tomorrow or wed though, so I better decide what it is that I want to do soon, because I don’t think that I’m going to be able to handle another encounter with my parents!

Santaquin:4

Santaquin:4

Well – here is some very exciting news.  I have finally put in my papers! YEAH!! I’m very stoked about the whole thing!  I went in for my interview with the stake president on this last Wednesday.  It was a really awesome meeting, the spirit was very strong and I think that he  could tell that I wanted to go on a mission and my desire is strong.  He explained a little about the whole process should go, it’s definitely a lot different now that we can turn  it in over the internet now.   He sent it in to the church headquarters Wed night and so, now that we don’t have to mail it in, the church would get it Thursday morning.  Now they normally do the mission calls on Thursdays, but of course there is other information that needs to be sorted through and then its passed on to the missionary committee, which is formed out of the first presidency and the twelve apostle, which take turns making the missionary calls.  So – by Thursday of next week my call should be issued and I’ll be anticipating receiving my call but Thursday of the following week. 

            Here is a good benefit to being the daughter of the bishop, my dad can get onto the churches website and let me know when my call has been issued, so I can know for sure that its on it’s way!  I’m super excited and not really nervous just yet, I’ll be really nervous right before I open my call though.  That’s what my stake president told me, he said the worst time in the whole preparation for a mission is the two weeks between sending in your papers and waiting to get your call.  I don’t think it’s that bad just yet, but it has only been three days…we’ll see how my nerves are at the end of next week!

            For some reason, this whole thing seems to be a bit surreal, I know that I’m going on a mission, it’s something that I’ve wanted to do for over a year now, but I’m finally to that stage where I’m putting in my papers and getting everything done, and it doesn’t seem like I’ve done anything… is that just a little weird or what? I wonder if anyone else has ever felt like that.  I’m going to have to ask the boys if they were really nervous when they were putting in there papers.  Maybe I’m just really ready… that’s what I would like to think anyway.  I almost feel bad because I’m NOT anxious,  I feel like I should be more involved emotionally, but at the same time, it really has to be a blessing, because I think I just might pull my hair out if I were to be really emotionally involved.  Either way, I’m really excited and I know I’m doing the right thing!  I’m really looking forward to going to the temple with my family and friends and the temple trips that the boys and I are planning on before I leave.  This is going to be a great time in my life, to make all these great memories to take with me on my mission.  I’m gonna be missing out on a lot for those 18 months, but I’m going to have so many more blessings for it, right? Until next time,

 Cass